He came over today…

Its pretty obvious what this post is about. He being my ex came over today. It was really nice, especially since we haven’t had a face-to-face chat since the beginning of summer. We’ve really been through a lot together, a lot being; a lot of stupid drama. The fact that we can still talk and have maintained being friends, despite the extreme difficulty of it, makes me really happy. My expectations from him are extremely low at this point since he has upset me in the past, but I haven’t let it get to me and I don’t think he realizes how well I can handle things. There still is a very strong attraction between us, and we both know it, but adjusting back to how we used to be around each other is gonna take some time and I’m not the type of person to immediately open up to people, even if they’re somewhat close to me. I just can’t do it.

So for now, this is how we’re gonna go along with things, see how that works out. Eventually there’s gonna be a hint of sexual tension we’re gonna need to get over but I need to be comfortable with it before anything happens. I know he wants to, like really badly but I must be perfectly comfortable.

LOL

Okay, so, I know you’re pissed and all but honestly its not anyones fault. You put yourself in this position and then take your anger out on others that have absolutely no idea what your issue is. You know how fucking stupid that makes you look? And once you’ve fucked everything up, you realize that you were being a retard in the first place and apologize, expecting everything to be back to normal and back to how it was before you fucked it all up. What I’m saying is you need to stop being in your own little world, and think of the big picture. How all the stupid shit you do affects others as well as how they see you as a person. You’re starting to make me feel sick, like just the fact that every now and then you fuck something up for the stuuuupidest reason. Ugh. I’m really, really close to giving up on you.